Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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