I think I died a long time ago.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
