I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
