So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
