all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
