Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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