So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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