Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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