You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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