I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
