youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
thus making me awesome and them whores
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
