Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
