I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize