My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
