it wasn't lemon gatorade
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
