I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize