he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Houston, we have a squirter
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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