My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is wine microwaveable?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
