your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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