i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
