M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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