Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
