When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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