woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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