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I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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