White coat. Heels.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
