was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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