so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
