can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
