i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
