I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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