The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
