we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
