yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
