Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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