Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
