I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
