Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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