i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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