i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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