Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
