i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
