Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
