is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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