We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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