there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
