Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
