HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
