I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
