At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
