I am midnight drunk by noon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
