Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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