Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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