My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
