If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize