On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize