I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize