what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
