At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
