id be glad to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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