bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
